September 25, 2011 § 3 Comments
Le Creuset 7.25 qt. Round French Oven in Caribbean
These pots are very similar. But one costs $200 more than the other. Can you guess which one I want?
I’ll give you a hint. I hate myself for it.
The thing is, people who own Lodge pots will tell you that they are exactly the same as Le Creuset, just without the fancy name. Because they need to justify their choice.
At the same time, people who own Le Creuset pots will tell you that nothing compares to the real thing, and that you get what you pay for. Because they also need to justify their choice.
But do you want to know what it comes down to for me? Really, honestly, why I want the more expensive one? It’s not because I think it cooks better. It’s not because I care that my pot be made in France and not in China. It’s not because I think it will last longer or have a better resale value or fit in better with the high-end dream kitchen I someday plan on having.
No. I want the more expensive one because it is a prettier color.
(And yes, I have seen both these colors in person. The pictures above can be trusted.)
I mean, look at the perfect blueish greenish color of the Le Creuset. They were right to call it Caribbean. I’ve seen the Caribbean, I should know.
Lodge, I do not know what you were thinking with the color of yours. It hurts my eyes to look at it. If I had to cook food in it I would throw up.
And I cannot BELIEVE you had the gall to call it Caribbean Blue. There is nothing even remotely Caribbean about that color.
How does this happen? Who is picking out these colors? Do these companies hire color-picker-outers who charge based on how good their taste is? So, like, Le Creuset can afford a better color-picker-outer, and consequently all their colors are amazing? And Lodge can only afford a shitty color-picker-outer who can only pick out shitty colors?
Or, maybe the color-picker-outers at both companies are equally good, it’s just that they’re each deliberately choosing colors that they think will appeal to their company’s customer base. Maybe the folks at Lodge know full well that their colors are butt ugly, but they think that YOU have bad taste and will like them. You know, because you’re poor and stuff.
Or, could it be the paint industry, hiking up the prices on the colors that are more pleasing to the eye, and offering colors that no one wants to look at at bargain basement prices? Colors that have been scientifically proven to induce vomit are practically free.
Or, does Le Creuset have a patent on “enamel-covered cast iron cookware in dope colors” and Lodge has to make its colors terrible just to avoid being sued?
I WANT ANSWERS PEOPLE AND I AM NOT ENTIRELY KIDDING.
The whole thing just pisses me off miserably. I don’t have $269 to spend on a pot, and now Lodge has ruined my chances of being happy with a cheaper knock-off. (A cheaper knock-off that, I might add, is still expensive enough to me that I would need to be at least 85% in love with it to actually get it. I’m not spending $69 to walk into my kitchen every day and throw up. Sure, over time, it would eventually spread out so I was only paying $3 each time, and over even more time it would get down to a matter of cents, but still. I hate throwing up.)
BUT THE REALLY FUCKING FRUSTRATING PART IS THIS: even if I were to save up the money or ask for the Le Creuset as a gift, I’d still have to feel like a total tool knowing that I am essentially paying, or asking someone else to pay, $200 for a color. I can’t do that in good conscience. Not while there are starving children in Africa. Some of whom are colorblind.
Clearly I am fucked. There are just way too many obstacles standing between me and no longer having to halve my chili recipe because I’m afraid it’s going to overflow my 4 qt. Le Creuset pot. (What? Did I really forget to mention that earlier? Because I could have sworn… Well FINE, I’ll tell you about it now: it’s cherry red and it’s BEAUTIFUL and it was a gift and I really don’t think that the fact that I already have a Le Creuset pot should in any way affect the way you feel about the rest of this post. I am still very, very downtrodden and personally insulted by the Lodge brand’s abysmal color choices, and I deserve to be happy and have everything or at least most of the things I want because I hardly ever want things and I have always been a remarkably good girl and there are people out there who own entire SETS of Le Creuset cookware and they take baths in Le Creuset bathtubs and take shits in Le Creuset toilets and I don’t need all that to be happy. I’m really very simple and down-to-earth, you know. And I just happen to really love when the color of the actual Caribbean appears on a pot of about 7 qt. capacity. Is that really so wrong?)
If you think I’m bad, fine, but you know who’s WAY WORSE? The people who buy Le Creuset pots, but they buy them in this color:
June 29, 2011 § 4 Comments
It’s funny because I had the inspiration a few days ago to compose a post about these shoes:
and the main point was going to be about how I saw a guy wearing them and thought, “God, what a douche!” and why do I think that and why can’t I love everyone and aren’t I really fucked up inside and what is my fucking problem???!!!!!???? But also, these are kind of douchey, right????
But in the time between then and now, I have not been able to stop imagining the feeling of walking around in these crazy things. My feet actually tingle at the thought. My toes start wiggling involuntarily, each one asserting its independence, or trying to, at least (they resent how the Big Toe seems to have more pull than the rest). I feel strangely warm and energized, and that’s just from thinking about wearing them. Oh, to be barefoot without the risk of stepping on shards of glass or developing unladylike monster callouses or being denied service at a gas station mini-mart!
With these shoes, these non-shoes if I may, you can return to nature. You can be footloose AND fancy free. And the best part is, you can do it all without bothering the people who hate hippies. The only people you will bother are the people who hate douchebags who walk around flaunting their freak shoes just hoping you’ll ask what the hell is on their feet so they can tell you how great they are.
There are health benefits and anatomical diagrams and stuff.
I figured they were like $200 but really they start around $75.
Also, they come in pink.
What do you think? Have you seen people wearing these? Was it hate at first sight? Do you think it’s more forgivable on a woman? And what is on your Wanting Mind these days?